Vacations Blog

1. You watch LOST wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sipping Mai Tais.

2. You find yourself driving by travel agencies that aren’t even on your way home.

3. You send people postcards from the corner market.

4. You only buy travel sized bottles of shampoo, aspirin and liquor.

5. You cover your carpet in sand and ask everyone to call you “Little Buddy.”

6. You make your kids wear flotation devices on snow days.

7. You keep your dirty laundry in a suitcase.

8. Whenever you leave the house you pretend you’re lost and can’t speak the language.

9. You’ve spray painted your snow-covered yard green.

10. You wear your sunglasses at night and your name isn’t Corey Hart.

11. You’ve replaced your office chair with a beach towel.

12. No matter where you are you tell people that what happens there stays there.

13. It’s 32 degrees outside and you just got a bikini wax.

Photo by Whit Honea

Disney offers many nutritional options for keeping children quiet.

1.  As evidenced by the annoyed people seated next to me on the Nemo Submarine Voyage I get excellent cell-phone reception up to 20,000 leagues under the sea.  This despite dead zones in my own home.

2.  Until a wrong turn on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride took me there, I never realized that hell was not just hot but also quite humid- not unlike Florida.

3.  After walking through Innoventions I can’t help but feel that Microsoft’s biggest issue is not lack of innovation, but rather a failure to communicate.  They make awesome stuff for the home and nobody knows it.

4.  Old country bears don’t die, they just retire to the Hundred Acre Woods.

5.  If a princess has found her prince she is highly unlikely to kiss a frog, no matter how nicely you ask.

6.  The best way to keep pirates from boarding your boat is flash photography.

7.  If visiting the parks in February the crowds will be small and the rides will be closed.

8.  Not all of the 999 spooks are grim or grinning.  At least two ghosts appear indifferent.

9.  Should a ride have the word “terror” in its name, there is good chance you may find it somewhat terrifying.

10.  Despite Flick’s insistence to the contrary, some bugs deserve to be swatted.

11.  The whole thing about human children contaminating monsters is an urban legend.

12.  With just 10 Dalmatians Cruella de Vil could have had a nice handbag.

13.  A full bar, a winery, a tequila booth and a beer cart are a nice touch.

Read more about the Disneyland Resort here and here!

Photo by Whit Honea

From guest blogger Marsha Takeda-Morrison of Sweatpantsmom

It’s time for another Thursday Thirteen! I was driving around the other day, thinking about how much I love this city. Of course, that was before that lousy driver cut me off on the 405 Freeway and totally harshed my mellow, but that’s a blog post for another day. For now, here a few of my favorite things:

1. Pink’s Hot Dogs – To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure what makes Pink’s Hot Dogs so popular, but for some reason I just feel better knowing it’s there.

2. Guy who sells maps to the stars’ homes on Sunset Blvd. near Doheny – I’ve never actually bought one of these maps, but it’s nice to know that if I ever act on my urge to start stalking Will Smith, there’s somebody who can tell me how to find him.

3. Giant Chair Statue at Pacific Design Center – I love this humongous 30-foot chair, not only for its aesthetics but because we have a running joke: whenever I drive by it with my husband and kids, we always talk about how we’re going to somehow hoist the 10-year old up there and take a picture of her perched on its edge. It’s going to happen, I promise.

4. La Brea Tar Pits – Besides being a great place to take my kids, this place reminds me of my childhood. Also, I have friends who live in the area and have stories of (prehistoric!) tar bubbling up through cracks in their street, which is way more exciting than anything that ever happens on the block where I live.

5. Grauman’s Chinese Theater – Totally overrun with tourists, but where else can you get a close-up look at celebrities’ handprints? Nah, sneaking a look at Shia LeBeouf’s fingerprints at the LAPD isn’t the same.

6. Capitol Records Building – Because it was designed to look like a stack of records! Also, because they’re one of the first buildings every year to put up their Christmas tree made out of lights.

7. Book Soup – Absolutely the coolest book store in the city. Although it makes me sad to go there now, because the legendary Tower Records across the street on Sunset is no longer there.

8. Hollywood and Vine – This famous intersection provides some of the best people-watching in the city. Stopping at that traffic light for thirty seconds always makes me feel like I’ve stepped into a David Lynch movie.

9. Angelyne – I don’t really like Angelyne but she’s my favorite in more of a ‘fascinatingly hideous’ sort of way. Talk to ten different people, and you’ll get ten different Angelyne stories. I once saw her buying clothes at the drug store. She bought some pants, hopped into her pink Corvette and drove away.

10. Watt’s Towers –I urge everyone to get over your fear of driving into this area, and check out these amazing works of art, at least once. Personally, I think your life may be in more danger while trying to shop at Costco during the Christmas rush.

11. Self Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine – I know it sounds all new age-y and touchy-feely, but you should really check this place out. And don’t worry – you don’t have to have a religious bone in your body to appreciate it. A couple of walks around the serene path that winds around the lake and you’ll feel like a new person. If not, at least make yourself useful by feeding the ducks.

12. First Street, Little Tokyo – There’s nowhere else in the city that can say it’s home to my favorite spa, my favorite restaurant and my favorite coffee shop. I’d tell you about all these secret places, but then I’d have to kill you.

13. The Beverly Center – Yeah, it’s just a mall to most people, but it takes me back to my Sex And The City days, when I’d spend hours trolling the stores just to find a perfect dress to wear on a dinner date. Who has that kind of time anymore?

From guest blogger Marsha Takeda-Morrison of Sweatpantsmom

Here is my Thursday Thirteen list, a suggestion of things to do with tweens in L.A. I thought up most of it at the mall last week, as I was waiting outside a store for my two tween girls to emerge with their purchases. It’s amazing what you can get accomplished in seven hours.

1. Hot Topic - This could really cover items 1 – 13 on this list, since as far as my two girls are concerned there isn’t any need to venture anywhere else. Give them a backpack full of snacks and a fully-charged cell phone and they could probably stay in there for weeks spending my hard earned cash on Juno t-shirts and black glitter nail polish.

2. Art Museums – We’ve been taking our kids to art museums since they were babies, but it’s gotten particularly entertaining lately to hear their expert commentary. It’s always amusing to hear things like, “OMG – naked!” when standing before a majestic sculpture by Rodin, or “I TOTALLY want that for my new bunk bed comforter” while contemplating a canvas by Jackson Pollack.

3. Soup Kitchen –I’ve never actually visited a soup kitchen with my tweens, but it’s something all the PC parenting guides say you should do in order to teach your kids to be grateful for what they have. In all honesty, I’m not sure how my two girls would fare – I’d really be embarrassed if they sat down at a table, waited for a menu and then asked the homeless guy sitting next to them if he recommends the buffalo wings or the grilled cheese.

4. The movies – Any movie will do. Just sitting in a nice cool theater chowing down on hot buttered popcorn and Junior Mints is enough to keep them happy. The 9 – 12 year old set aren’t very discerning moviegoers; In fact, it may be the only time you’ll hear “Garfield: The Movie” and “awesome” in the same sentence.

5. Target – Maybe this is only applicable to tween girls, but mine love the aisles filled with cheap loot, cds and video games. Also, lots of eco t-shirts that say things like ‘Tree Hugger’ which is apparently all the rage now. You might just get them to listen to your Hendrix albums after all.

6. Yogurt shop – Yogurt is the new black. Menchies is our favorite, but Pinkberry or any other one will do. But try and take them to Baskin-Robbins and be prepared for much eye-rolling as they’re forced to mingle with the four-year-olds enjoying a scoop of Shrek Swirl with their grandpas.

7. Starbucks – This is the new version of sneaking a sip of your mom’s wine when you were seven. Tweens like the idea of sipping a grown-up coffee drink (I order decaf for mine) and it’s great for coffee addicts like me who can get their daily fix guilt-free. You know, it’s for the children.

8. Bowling Alley – They may last for one game of bowling, but what they really want to do is head to the arcade for some DDR (Dance Dance Revolution for you total squares.) Bring a bat or rolled-up newspaper if you have girls, though – the last time I was there a small crowd of teen boys gathered to watch my daughters and their friends bouncing around to the music until I shooed them away.

9. California Pizza Kitchen –According to the highly scientific poll I conducted with my girls and their friends while driving back from the mall in my van last week, this is the sanctioned eatery to dine with your parents. Added bonus – it’s the only place they don’t feel embarrassed about ordering from the kids menu since “the macaroni and cheese, like, rules.”

10. The Library – Believe it or not, tweens are rediscovering the library, mainly for the treasure trove of manga books they have there. At $9.99 each, it gets expensive to keep buying them at Barnes & Noble. However, do not even suggest they try out any of the library-sponsored teen events such as cupcake making or scrapbooking – you may as well tell them to invite their crowd over for a rousing game of rummy.

11. The beach – The beach is ideal for tweens and their unpredictable moods. They can indulge both their sloth-ly instincts by laying on their towels all day, or burn off energy by hitting the waves for some boogie-boarding. Also, the close proximity of a snack bar serving pizza and every variety of greasy, deep fried food will make them think they’ve died and gone to heaven

12. The park – My girls are just starting to notice boys, and members of the opposite sex are in abundance here, especially during soccer season. Bring along that bat that you took to the bowling alley

13. At home, with their parents – They’re not going to want to be seen with their dad and me for long, so we’re savoring all these days just hanging out together. So what if they roll their eyes when I suggest the fifth game of CandyLand?

Let’s face it, there are those people you hear about who just have really bad luck. They have true experiences of ‘travel nightmares’ but those aren’t what I’m talking about. This week it’s 13 recurring nightmares that I have about travel every time I’m on the road.

# 1. Getting lost, horribly lost.

I mean, can’t tell North from South kind of lost. In the nightmare I wander aimlessly (usually in London) looking for something and just getting more and more lost. I can’t tell you how excited I am about GPS…

#2. Finding out my ‘cool’ foreign-language shirt says something embarrassing.

I especially have this fear about a French shirt I have, which I’ve insisted on having translated several times. I’m pretty sure it says “love” but I dream I get to Paris one of these days and it will end up being some variation on ‘love’ that means something *cough* more.

#3. The one worse than #2 : Arriving without any clothes on.

A recurring theme on the old High School nightmare perhaps. I have this nightmare where I show up at the airport without any clothes on. Being me, I act as if I’m wearing the emperor’s new clothes and proceed to check in to my flight. Only bonus? TSA screening is much less complicated, even if it is a bit more uncomfortable for TSA. I, of course, have a new suit on that they simply can’t see so I’m fine.

#4. Getting sick in Mexico.

This is a very specific dream, based on a childhood experience that was rather traumatizing at a Rosarito doctor’s office when my sister was sick. The inability to relay your illness in a foreign language sparks this dream every time I travel to a foreign country where I don’t speak the language. Including, of all places, when we went to Quebec, Canada!

#5. Getting left behind.

This nightmare is perhaps the reason I don’t take cruises or travel with tours. I dream that I’m in some place without a map, transportation or language and I get left behind by the tour I’m with. Without anyway to contact them, I must learn to live off the land… Ok, perhaps too many episodes of LOST.

#6. Speaking of which, I don’t have a fear of flying but I do have a recurring dream of being in a plane crash.

This is due entirely to the first season of LOST where they showed that vivid plane crash sequence so many times that I developed PTSD from it.

#7. Being purse-snatched and ending up without any money.

It’s never happened because I’ve invested in, perhaps, every single ‘hide your money on your person’ invention that has ever come along. Never the less, I still dream that it happens regularly. It happened to Dave from gobackpacking.com and his tale on that blog about the experience allayed some of my fears, but I’m still taking my belt pouch with me wherever I go.

#8. Having a traveling companion die while in a foreign country.

As if having someone you love enough to travel with pass away unexpectedly isn’t bad enough, add to that trying to figure out how to get them home. I mean, that sort of thing just doesn’t fit in a carry-on…

#9. Throwing up on the Queen (or really, any head of state).

In this dream, I’m granted an audience with a head of state, usually the Queen of England or the President of the United States. I get to her, and as I’m about to kneel, I projectile vomit all over her white ermine (or his $3,000 suit).

#10. Being chased by a camel.

Through the pyramids and streets of Geza. And I can’t get away. Like something from Indiana Jones, but with a camel instead of bad guys with guns. Really, I think I need to get some better movie selections.

#11(points for figuring out the classic movie reference) I’m traveling between towns in Europe and every town I come to seems to be over run with the plague.

And everything is in black and white…

#12. Getting to a foreign country to discover, much to my amazement, that I’m an international idol there.

I get off the plane to screaming fans and am chased through the streets in my car. Now this is a nightmare to me because I have ABSOLUTELY NO MUSICAL TALENT and they expect me to put on a concert. Ok, that’s it… no more Rock Band video game for me…

#13. Ending up in the middle of a war zone.

Mind you, I’m planning a trip this winter to see my friends while they’re stationed in Kuwait for a book I’m working on, but that’s a planned trip to a war zone.  And my friends each have their own armories.  In the dream, I’m in some neutral place like Switzerland or Canada or Australia and suddenly war breaks out and I’m in the middle of a war zone unexpectedly. And usually I’m without any writing insturiments, which is the worst part.

So what are your (hopefully unfounded) travel nightmares?

** Thanks to Hsin Ho for the particularly scarry nightmare photo!

Here is my Thursday Thirteen list of items I always pack when traveling with my kids, things I have found useful when taking my kids on the road. My two are 6 and 7, so our packing list has certainly evolved from when they were babies. And as they grow older, we look forward to even more changes. The list skews a little more towards airplane trips, but I think the list is also valid for car adventures too. Our most exciting packing achievement? For our trip in March to London and Paris, we took only carry on luggage – each of us had a roll-on suitcase and backpack!

In Letterman style, I will do my list backwards, saving the best for last:

13. Travel backpack with games, books and toys to keep them busy (check out the $1 bin at Michaels)
12. Refillable water bottles
11. Small first aid kit with band aids
10. Digital Camera (one for the adults and one for the kids)
9. Flip video recorder (so small it fits in my pocket) Read More »

From guest blogger Marsha Takeda-Morrison of Sweatpantsmom

I’ve been asked by the editors to participate in a meme called Thursday Thirteen. Coming up with thirteen of anything seemed impossible at first, unless you asked me to list the number of ways I can order a cappuccino at Starbucks.

But then I remembered a dilemma I face almost daily living in Los Angeles, the land of the Perpetually Primped. How can I, a working mom, go out in public with the least amount of personal grooming? And most importantly, avoid running into anyone I know lest they judge my haggard appearance? After all, this is L.A., where most women wouldn’t dare leave the house without lipstick, two coats of mascara and a Botox injection – and that’s just to get the mail.

Thursday Thirteen – Thirteen Places You Can Go In Los Angeles Without Makeup

1. The ‘scary’ grocery story in your neighborhood. I prefer our local downtrodden market to the more upscale version located a few blocks closer. So what if all the cashiers are missing half their teeth? It’s worth it if I don’t have to run into any of those moms glowing after their seaweed peels and three-hour facials.
2. Art-house movie at any Laemmle Theater – Although it appears that my highbrow taste is the motivation for attending subtitled films about lonely cobblers finding love during WWII, the real reason is there’s not a chance that any of the other three people in the theater is someone I know.
3. Chuck E. Cheese – My kids outgrew this place years ago, but I still long for those days of being able to blend in with the other hundred frantic, pasty-faced parents scarfing down pizza while their toddlers run wild.
4. Jury Duty – If you’re trying to get out of serving, appearing as unkempt as possible will work in your favor here. No one’s going to want you deciding the fate of another human being when you look like someone who can’t even brush their own hair.
5. The Car Wash – This only applies to those venues that let you stay in your vehicle while your van hits the suds. Resist the temptation to get out and pick up another fake-pine air freshener or pair of cheap sunglasses.
6. Gas Stations – I try to look as unattractive as possible when pumping gas, in order to discourage panhandling. However, I was given five bucks by a homeless guy once and told to go get a good haircut.
7. Any 7-Eleven – For obvious reasons.
8. Bally’s Total Fitness, Between 11pm and 6am ONLY – Trying to get on a treadmill during normal business hours without a full face of makeup in L.A. will result in a severe ass-kicking by other gym patrons forced to stare at your ugly mug.
9. Any fast food drive-thru – No one will ever see you ordering your super-sized monster taco meal while looking like you just woke up from a fifty-year nap.
10. Target, Sepulveda Blvd. in Van Nuys – This Target is a mecca for overworked, overwhelmed parents and it shows. I feel right at home amongst the tattered-sweatpants crowd. Drive over the hill to Sunset and Vine, though, and every single person looks like they’re from the cast of The Hills.
11. The Dry Cleaners – What person in their right mind would get gussied up to pick up a bunch of sweaters?
12. Ross Dress For Less, Mervins, Marshalls or anywhere else you can get a coat for under ten dollars – See #7
13. Sorry, but there really are only twelve places in L.A. that you can go looking like a hag.