Vacations Blog

It is no secret that I love Disneyland.  It’s my happiest place on Earth and all that, but there are things at Disneyland that bug me and as such they should be addressed to keep me, er, the paying guest, happy.

1.  Grumpy cast members.  No, not Grumpy the dwarf, but actual people that work at Disneyland that are unpleasant.  Granted, this doesn’t happen often which is probably why it makes such an impact when it does.  Nothing stands out like a weed in a field full of flowers.

2.  Grumpy guests.  Again, not the dwarf.  Sure, Disney would be hard-pressed to alter the grumpy guest, but who the hell yells and curses in Disneyland at A) their kids, B) their spouse, C) the soon to be grumpy cast member.  If I wanted my kids to hear foul-mouths and anger I would take them to a Raiders game.

Ice Cream at Disneyland

3.  Crowds.  Yes, this is rather obvious.  Nothing is more frustrating than trying to navigate your family through a bunch of other people trying to navigate theirs through yours.  To an extent this is expected and taken with a grain of salt, but here’s a secret- some of those crowds are created by Disney.  They like to mess with perception and it’s annoying.  They’re already getting my money so knock it off.

4.  Smoking.  If you are going to go to the trouble of banning smoking and creating large and lovely smoking areas then please enforce it. If I wanted my kids to inhale a cloud of smoke and ashes I would take them to a Raiders game.

5. Pin traders.  Somewhere between the hobbies of stamp collecting and pigeon fancying sits the pin trader.  At first glance they seem harmless enough, just a group of people taking up all of the shade-covered seats outside the eatery, but don’t even think about asking to use one of their many empty chairs so that your wife and children can actually sit down for a moment.  That’s when the claws come out.  Those chairs are for their customers- other pin traders, most of which are sitting at shade-covered tables around them amid a sea of empty chairs.  Disneyland is not their personal eBay store, contrary to their popular belief.  Pin traders are directly responsible for many a grumpy guest- see how this is all circular?  The Lion King was right.

6.  Little Rascals. Not Alfalfa and Buckwheat, but the guests that use scooters to maneuver the park.  Obviously most people on a scooter are not doing anything wrong, but there are those (you know who you are) that try to weave in and out of traffic on their scooter like it’s rush hour on the interstate.  A scooter is not made for weaving, or speed for that matter.  And then there is the horn.  Seriously, a freaking horn?  There is a special place in hell for the honker of the scooter horn.

7.  Stroller Derby.  We use a stroller at Disneyland.  It’s the only place we use one.  The crowds are too big and the scooters too fast for kids to be wandering around aimlessly all day.  Plus, it’s a great place to keep your stuff.  However, pushing a stroller does not mean that you are any more important than anyone else.  It does not mean that you are allowed to cut people off, bump their ankles or double-park in front of Peter Pan.  This does not make one a good parent, it makes one an ass.

8.  Ride closures.  On our last trip we stood in line for 5 different rides that broke down before we got to ride them.  Sure, it’s better than actually being on them when they break, but 5 rides in one day?  That’s a lot, isn’t it?

9.  Photo prices.  Disneyland is getting my money.  I know this when I walk through the gate, just like I know the house is getting it when I stumble into Vegas. I accept it.  However, it would be nice if I could stretch it a bit further before it goes.

Disney has a great service where they take your photo throughout the park and then you can purchase them later… for 15 bucks.  What?  It’s a damn digital print.  You can print those out for less than a dollar at Target.  Sure, someone else took the photo, but I’m not sold on their skills as a professional photographer.  It’s not like Annie Leibovitz is spending her weekends in front of the castle.

There is also the option of buying the photos online when you get home- just in case you weren’t quite done spending money yet.

$15 is a tad high.  Maybe two tads.

Old Friends United

10.  More character opportunities.  I remember a time when the Disney characters were everywhere.  They roamed streets and restaurants and brought an element of magic and surprise to the day.  Now they are in certain areas with huge lines, which isn’t a bad thing, but it loses something.  Characters were born to be free and to work the streets of Disneyland like their own cocktail party.  Keep the set lines with the select few, but put the rest back into the mix.   One quick glance from a favorite character goes a long way.  Who knows, it might even ease the grumpy guest.

So that’s it.  Nitpicking? Perhaps.  Doable?  Maybe not.  To be honest I’d settle for a ban on horns… and maybe a churro.

We Plunder.

Photos by Whit and Tricia Honea

Ask Miles Davis. Ask Louis Armstrong, Dave Brubeck or Gene Simmons.  Yes, that Gene Simmons.

Ask millions of people, two mice and me. Disney is more than you think. Yes, there is magic in the air, that’s a given.  And there is childlike wonder and troubles forgotten. There are smiles and sighs and moments of pure joy. And through it all there is romance.

Flowers in Disneyland

Just go with me here.

Surely, Walt must have known what he had created. He must have strolled those streets and understood what he had done. The lands of Disney, lit by stars and lanterns and backed by an endless soundtrack of memories and promise, are pure romance in its most innocent form.

Of Mice and Moments

Miles Davis knew this.  So too, Louis Armstrong, Dave Brubeck and Gene Simmons.  Yes, that Gene Simmons.  That’s why you’ll find the songs of Disney in their respective canons.  They bought what Walt was selling and in turn they peddled it themselves.  Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs and there is nothing wrong with that.

You get lost here, in the Happiest Place on Earth. You let yourself go.  In quiet moments your mind wanders to dreams and smiles and the girl on your arm, and you find yourself, as I did, on one knee beneath the shadow of fireworks, kneeling at the base of a castle surrounded by streams and beds of roses and bated moments of silence.

Planned Spontaneity

The longest moments live between knees and yes.

It is a place of magic and fairy tales.  There is a hope of possibility in the air and it engulfs you with every breath. For a brief time the lines between your life and your dreams blur and become one. You are drunk without drink, and it spreads with rapid and loose abandonment.

It is as if you have been picked up out of the cubicle of daily routine and placed in your favorite movie, alongside dreamers, stars and champions. It feels right. You belong. Everything you did before your arrival was but a stepping stone to get you here. To get you to this moment. You are reminded of the plans you once had and who it was that you thought you would grow to be.  And maybe you are, if just for a moment.

Perhaps you spot a Princess out for a stroll, deep in thoughts of kingdoms and ballrooms. Perhaps you spy your hosts sharing a private moment away from their guests. They too can feel it. It is not the romance of lust and the meaningless fancies that fill our daily lives between commercials for Las Vegas and lingerie. It is the romance of knowing that there is good in this world and that you want to share it with someone, even if it is just holding their hand across a moonlit bridge. It is the magic of promise for better days and the righting of wrongs. It dares you to imagine what life should be and encourages you to make it so.

It is family, like Walt intended, if such a thing can be considered romantic. I like to think that it can.

Fearing the Fireworks

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For more on the Happiest Place on Earth please read the following:

Disney’s California Adventure in Anaheim, California – Family Fun

Pressed Pennies – The Ultimate Disneyland Souvenir

Disneyland Family Vacations: The Happiest Place on Earth

7 Secrets You Might not Know About Disneyland

Things I Learned at the Disneyland Resort – A Thursday Thirteen

Family Imagination at Disneyland, California

All photos by Whit Honea, Tricia Honea or some Cast Member with my camera.

Snow for Sleeping Beauty

When most people think of Disneyland Resort (that being the area containing the original Disneyland, Disney’s California Adventure, Downtown Disney and the three Disney hotels) they tend to think of a summer destination for their family vacation.  Here’s something to consider, Disney for the holidays.

The entire area is transformed.

The hotels (Disneyland Hotel, Paradise Pier and Grand Californian) each have their own Christmas trees and holiday decorations, respectively, as well as daily winter-based activities for guests of all ages, including crafts, tours and workshops.

Downtown Disney takes on the festive feel of the season, complete with themed displays and a constant soundtrack of holiday tunes provided by live musicians, wandering carolers or piped through the speakers.

Disney’s California Adventure (DCA) sticks with its California motif and embraces Santa in a more relaxed mindset.  Here you will find sand instead of snow and the reindeer games consist of beach activities- even Santa opts for bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian print shirt rather than his traditional garb.

Winter in the 100 Acre Woods

Disneyland goes a more traditional route with its decorating.  The entire park is a holiday, evoking the likes of Norman Rockwell, Bing Crosby and Burl Ives.  There are special shows, parades, treats and merchandise (including a fantastic and large assortment of holiday decor and clothing).

The Disney characters are often dressed accordingly, especially Goofy that spends his days in Toon Town dressed as Santa and posing for pictures.

Mickey for the Holidays

Each night snow falls throughout Disneyland, from Main Street, U.S.A. to New Orleans Square.

The Small World and Haunted Mansion attractions have special holiday themes which are so well done that many, including my family, prefer the seasonal overlay to the original.

The winter weather in Anaheim is typically sunny with daytime temperatures in the 60s and 70s.  The nights cool down quite a bit and you should pack accordingly- especially since it can become chilly and wet without much warning.

If at all possible, try to arrange your vacation during the week to offset the crowds, but keep in mind that the closer you get to the holidays the more likely that local schools will be on break.

The Holiday festivities run from November 21, 2008 through January 4, 2009.

Photos by Whit Honea