Santa Claus passes over Los Angeles on his yearly flight.

In just a few days Santa Claus will be gearing up for a trip that most of us can only dream about, a trip around the world.  Of course, his trip is business and he’s a bit pressed for time, but the concept is still beyond cool.

I was lucky enough to sit down with Santa recently and we had a conversation about his yearly journey, the best places for coffee and what music he likes for his trip.  For the record, this is just the second interview I’ve ever conducted while sitting on the subject’s lap (the first was Hugh Jackman).

Whit: Santa, I must say that this is awesome.  I know that you’re busy this time of year and I thank you for taking the time to talk to me for UpTake.

Santa: Whit, it’s my pleasure.  By the way, that Hugh Jackman interview almost landed both of you on the naughty list.   I know that the dark side is strong and that coal is a good investment right now, but seriously, what kind of example are you two setting?

Whit:  I’m terribly sorry, Santa.  I can honestly say it won’t happen again, and I have the court order to prove it.

Santa:  Ho, ho, ho.  Very well.  Now what was it that you wanted to know?

Whit:  I suppose the big question is how do you do it?  How do you travel the world in one night?  Where do you start?

Santa:  It’s a combination of speed, luck and magic.  There’s a lot of math involved.  I usually start at the North Pole and take it from there.

Whit:  Was that sarcasm, Santa?

Santa:  I don’t traffic in sarcasm.

Whit:  Speaking of traffic, you’re on the road, or air as the case may be, for quite some time.  Do you have scheduled stops so you can rest and whatnot, or do you just sit a spell in random houses as needed?

Santa:  Generally speaking I don’t schedule breaks.  However, I have been known to hit a Starbucks every other timezone or so.  I’m a sucker for the Gingersnap Latte.  The Espresso Truffle is good, too.  Plus, they always have clean restrooms.

Whit:  I agree.  That’s good stuff.  Do you have a soundtrack to your trip?  Do you make mixes?

Santa:  Well, I’m under contract with iTunes to play at least 70% holiday music, but since everyone and their brother has a Christmas record out this days I rarely have any repeats.  I just hit shuffle on my iPhone and let it roll.  I’m rather partial to Dean Martin and Bing Crosby, but the new Barenaked Ladies is pretty good.

Whit:  Have you heard the Jack Johnson Christmas stuff?

Santa: I have.  That whole album is great.  I also like Sufjan Stevens.

Whit:  Very nice.  So, do you have a special place that you like more than others?  Does your route allow you to take in the scenery at all?

Santa:  My route varies depending on solar wind and military testing.  Interested parties can track my path and progress at NORAD.  They’re good people.  As for favorite places, Paris is lovely in the winter.  New York and Vegas are good as well.  Basically I like a place that’s well-lit.  Rudolph’s nose gives me a headache after awhile and it’s nice to let him rest it now and again.  I also like Seattle, for the coffee.

Whit:  Wow, that’s a lot of insight, Santa.  I really appreciate it and I know our readers will feel the same.  Is there anything else you would like to add?

Santa:  Just that people don’t leave bran for the reindeer.  It messes with their insides something fierce and it makes for a pretty uncomfortable ride- for all of us.  Other than that I’d just like to wish everyone a very happy holiday.  Peace.

Photo by Tricia Honea