Let’s face it, there are those people you hear about who just have really bad luck. They have true experiences of ‘travel nightmares’ but those aren’t what I’m talking about. This week it’s 13 recurring nightmares that I have about travel every time I’m on the road.
# 1. Getting lost, horribly lost.
I mean, can’t tell North from South kind of lost. In the nightmare I wander aimlessly (usually in London) looking for something and just getting more and more lost. I can’t tell you how excited I am about GPS…
#2. Finding out my ‘cool’ foreign-language shirt says something embarrassing.
I especially have this fear about a French shirt I have, which I’ve insisted on having translated several times. I’m pretty sure it says “love” but I dream I get to Paris one of these days and it will end up being some variation on ‘love’ that means something *cough* more.
#3. The one worse than #2 : Arriving without any clothes on.
A recurring theme on the old High School nightmare perhaps. I have this nightmare where I show up at the airport without any clothes on. Being me, I act as if I’m wearing the emperor’s new clothes and proceed to check in to my flight. Only bonus? TSA screening is much less complicated, even if it is a bit more uncomfortable for TSA. I, of course, have a new suit on that they simply can’t see so I’m fine.
#4. Getting sick in Mexico.
This is a very specific dream, based on a childhood experience that was rather traumatizing at a Rosarito doctor’s office when my sister was sick. The inability to relay your illness in a foreign language sparks this dream every time I travel to a foreign country where I don’t speak the language. Including, of all places, when we went to Quebec, Canada!
#5. Getting left behind.
This nightmare is perhaps the reason I don’t take cruises or travel with tours. I dream that I’m in some place without a map, transportation or language and I get left behind by the tour I’m with. Without anyway to contact them, I must learn to live off the land… Ok, perhaps too many episodes of LOST.
#6. Speaking of which, I don’t have a fear of flying but I do have a recurring dream of being in a plane crash.
This is due entirely to the first season of LOST where they showed that vivid plane crash sequence so many times that I developed PTSD from it.
#7. Being purse-snatched and ending up without any money.
It’s never happened because I’ve invested in, perhaps, every single ‘hide your money on your person’ invention that has ever come along. Never the less, I still dream that it happens regularly. It happened to Dave from gobackpacking.com and his tale on that blog about the experience allayed some of my fears, but I’m still taking my belt pouch with me wherever I go.
#8. Having a traveling companion die while in a foreign country.
As if having someone you love enough to travel with pass away unexpectedly isn’t bad enough, add to that trying to figure out how to get them home. I mean, that sort of thing just doesn’t fit in a carry-on…
#9. Throwing up on the Queen (or really, any head of state).
In this dream, I’m granted an audience with a head of state, usually the Queen of England or the President of the United States. I get to her, and as I’m about to kneel, I projectile vomit all over her white ermine (or his $3,000 suit).
#10. Being chased by a camel.
Through the pyramids and streets of Geza. And I can’t get away. Like something from Indiana Jones, but with a camel instead of bad guys with guns. Really, I think I need to get some better movie selections.
#11(points for figuring out the classic movie reference) I’m traveling between towns in Europe and every town I come to seems to be over run with the plague.
And everything is in black and white…
#12. Getting to a foreign country to discover, much to my amazement, that I’m an international idol there.
I get off the plane to screaming fans and am chased through the streets in my car. Now this is a nightmare to me because I have ABSOLUTELY NO MUSICAL TALENT and they expect me to put on a concert. Ok, that’s it… no more Rock Band video game for me…
#13. Ending up in the middle of a war zone.
Mind you, I’m planning a trip this winter to see my friends while they’re stationed in Kuwait for a book I’m working on, but that’s a planned trip to a war zone. And my friends each have their own armories. In the dream, I’m in some neutral place like Switzerland or Canada or Australia and suddenly war breaks out and I’m in the middle of a war zone unexpectedly. And usually I’m without any writing insturiments, which is the worst part.
So what are your (hopefully unfounded) travel nightmares?
** Thanks to Hsin Ho for the particularly scarry nightmare photo!
