Vacations Blog

This is the second in a two part series about traveling with autistic children by Glenda Watson Hyatt, the first was about tips for parents traveling with autistic children. 

A mother and her young son board a plane to visit relatives. The son becomes fidgety and restless, especially when the flight attendant repeatedly tightens his seatbelt. Soon the unfamiliarity of being on a plane overwhelms the child; he throws himself on the floor, crying uncontrollably. After several failed attempts to calm her son and to return him to his seat, the pilot turns around the plane on the tarmac and returns to the terminal. Embarrassed and humiliated, mother and son deplane. Their plans for a vacation with relatives squashed. The child is neither a security risk nor a spoiled brat. The child has autism – a neurological disorder. Described as “living in a world of their own”, some autistic children avoid eye or physical contact with others, and may be noticeably upset when touched. Other children are unresponsive or become limp when touched, while others are quite affectionate. Their facial expression is often blank, and they are not able to read the facial expressions of others. Speech and language skills are typically impaired.

Autistic children may required their routine and surroundings to remain constant. A slight disruption or change may result in extreme emotional reactions, such as a temper tantrum. Some autistic children develop strong attachments to an object, like a piece of string or a wooden spoon that must be in hand at all times; others say a word or phrase repeatedly.

Although they may look perfectly normal, children may be mildly to severely affected by autism. If you meet one child with autism, then you have met one child with autism. No two autistic children are the same.

These children often are very anxious and find travel — the noise, the crowds, the lines, and the disruption of their routine — particularly difficult. The judgment of others can make a very stressful situation far worse. Kim Mance, co-editor of the online women’s travel magazine Galavanting and mother of an eight year-old autistic son, offer some ways strangers have helped her:

• Asking directly if my son is autistic. It lets the parents know the fellow traveler (or diner) is sympathetic rather than merely staring, which can then allow them to relax a little, which in turn seems to reduce the stress on the autistic child.
• Talking directly to my son. At one event, a woman looked at him for a while, and then I told her about his autism. She mentioned her autistic grandson and then turned to my son and said, “I’m so glad to be sitting next to you. Tell me if I can help you.” I appreciated it, as did my son did —  since he didn’t have any outbursts, which are sometimes brought on by his frustration of being misunderstood.
• Wait for an answer. Children with autism often take longer to respond to a question. A stranger asking a simple question like, “How old are you”, then waiting a good 20 seconds and/or repeating the question a couple of times will not only harvest a response, but put him at ease in his surroundings. Once he has talked to someone, the individual is no longer a stranger. The fewer the strangers, the less upsetting the new environment.

Fellow travelers can also assist by:

• offering the family to go ahead while waiting in line or for dinner reservations;
• offering to keep an eye on or entertain any siblings so that the parent can focus on the child with autism; or
• offering any interesting but not valuable gadgets or giveaways such as a lighted pen, calculator or flashing key chain to distract a child with autism.  (Ask the parent first.) Special needs consultant and speaker Catherine Whitcher, M.Ed. (www.precisioneducation.com), carries branded silly putty to share with families.

Ms. Whitcher also suggests complimenting the family if you notice a family has a child with autism and all is calm. She says, “You may recognize the signs of silverware being lined up at the table, a toy being played with excessively or staring at the ceiling light and know a child has an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).  If the moment warrants a compliment, give one.  So often families coping with ASD are accustomed to people staring for the wrong reasons, let them know you are admiring what a great family they have.”

Traveling can be stressful at the best of times. Being patient and understanding can relieve some of that stress for everyone. A friendly and compassionate smile can go a long way in easing the stress of a beleaguered parent facing a sea of glaring and judgmental eyes.

I met Glenda at BlogWorld last year and found her life story to be an inspiration. Glenda Watson Hyatt avidly writes about disability-related issues. In her autobiography I’ll Do It Myself , she intimately shares her life living with cerebral palsy to show others that cerebral palsy is not a death sentence, but rather a life sentence. She blogs at Do It Myself Blog  and Disaboom. She does all this by typing with only left thumb. In this post, she writes about traveling with an autistic child and how it can be a balancing act. How do you balance the desire and need for a family vacation with introducing your child to new experiences while not overwhelming him or disturbing others? This is the first in a two part series.

Peter Bell, the executive vice president at the advocacy organization Autism Speaks and the parent of an autistic teen, says, “some families don’t go anywhere, not even out to dinner, for fear of a situation like what happened to the [deplaned passengers] Farrells — while others, my own family included, opt not to let autism rule our lives.” The Bell family of five has successfully navigated national parks, cross-country car trips, theme parks, ski resorts (where many offer terrific adaptive programs) and Hawaii.  Bell encourages parents to try, even though it may not be relaxing and takes extra time and practice, and he urges fellow travelers to be more empathetic.

More and more holiday destinations are accommodating children with autism and other disabilities. Walt Disney World provides front-of-the-line passes for autistic children who find it very difficult to wait in line ups. Other theme parks, such as SeaWorld  and Busch Gardens  have similar programs. Cruise lines and resorts also attempt to be more inclusive in their organized activities. The Adaptive Sports Center  and similar sport centers offer camps and programming that children and parents can try together as a family.

Planning, preparation and practice are key when traveling with a child with autism. In the end, knowing and understanding your child’s specific needs is critical. For some children, traveling by unfamiliar means to unfamiliar lands may be too overwhelming and upsetting. Start small by exploring your neighborhood and local familiar areas. Allow your child’s reactions to guide you how far you travel comfortably.
Tips to consider:

–Research your holiday options and select an environment your child can handle.
–When traveling by air, inform the airline of your child’s special needs so that staff can assist in making the experience as comfortable and stress-free as possible. (Delta Airlines, in conjunction with Atlanta’s Marcus Institute for Development and Learning, is currently preparing recommendations for families traveling with someone with developmental disabilities. The guidelines will soon be available on Delta’s website (www.delta.com). Perhaps other airlines will then follow Delta’s lead.)
–Also inform the hotel, resort or cruise line of your child’s specific needs and ask what special accommodations are available. Request a fridge or kitchenette if eating some meals in the room may provide a calming break. Take your child’s own sheets if that may make him more comfortable.
–Traveling during low seasons on a cruise or at a resort like Club Med means fewer guests and staff will be more available to assist you.
–Travel by car if you think flying will be too difficult.
–Be forthright explaining the situation to those you meet. (The Autism Society of America has wallet-sized cards explaining autism that can be handed to people, including airport security and airline staff.)
–Prepare your child by developing stories complete with pictures that explain exactly what you will be doing and where you are going.
–Pack puzzle books, hand-held electronic toys and audio books plus a supply of familiar juice boxes and snacks in a knapsack for your child.

Whatever happens, stay calm.
Have a happy and well-deserved vacation!

Additional Resources:

• What is Autism?
• Autism Society of America
• This is Autism. In Case of Emergency, Your Seat Cushion… (a must read for the fellow traveler before your next trip!)
• US Department of Transportation: Air Accessibility 
• Autism & Airport Travel Safety Tips
• Air Travel with an Autistic Child (a mother shares how she prepared her son for air flights) -
• How To Plan a Vacation with Your Autistic Loved One
• How to Take an Autistic Child to Disneyland