There’s a column in the Los Angeles Times every Thursday called ‘My Favorite Weekend’ where celebrities write about what their perfect weekend would be. Predictably, 99% of them start with breakfast at the vegan Real Food Daily, involve a vigorous hike in Runyan Canyon and end with an organic chai latte at Urth Cafe. I sometimes wonder if this is just the PC version from their publicist, and the celebrity featured is actually having an Egg McMuffin and a pack of Marlboros for breakfast before passing out until Sunday night.

Since Mother’s Day is coming up, I decided to write about what My Favorite Weekend would be. As you’ll see, without a publicist to speak of, pork products and sedentary activity prevail…

My ideal weekend would start with brunch in Santa Barbara at the Four Seasons Biltmore. They have the most amazing spread, and it’s easy to linger there forever enjoying the view. However, if the idea of spending a mortgage payment on a waffle is daunting that day, I would stay local and head over to Mo’s in Toluca Lake. They have great breakfasts, and I’d have the Eggs Florentine with a side of their bacon, which is the thickest and juiciest I’ve ever had. Also, the place is close to the studios and great for stargazing; on our last visit my kids spotted someone from The Hannah Montana show.

After digesting that huge meal and twelve cups of coffee I would have to get a massage. My husband and I are shiatsu aficionados, and the best one we’ve found is at the Miyako Spa in Little Tokyo. But it’s not for the faint of heart – don’t expect a lilac-fragranced room and a woman named Britta anointing you with oils. These are women from the old country, who will pummel you within an inch of your life while exchanging no pleasantries whatsoever. In other words, the most incredible, exhilarating massage you’ll ever have. Afterwards I’d soak in the jacuzzi in their bare-bones spa area and drink some mugi cha out of a paper cup.

Since a massage usually puts me into a coma, I’d sleep for a few hours and then we’d head out for a late dinner. I’d be in a healthy state of mind after the spa, so we’d go to a Japanese restaurant, maybe Sushi Roku on the Westside. Then I’d totally blow it by ordering Dynamite, which is basically just clams swimming in mayonnaise. Heaven.

On Sunday, which is actually Mother’s Day, we would have breakfast at home and relax. We hate having to fight morning crowds, so we would meet up with the rest of my family for an afternoon dim sum meal at NBC Seafood in Monterey Park. My brother’s new wife, who is Chinese, turned us on to this place and it’s made me realize that Panda Express is not really Chinese food.

In actuality, we’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day this weekend on Saturday, as all of our family and friends will be turning out to watch my husband’s band play at the Sagebrush Cantina in Calabasas. It’s been there for years, and attracts a wildly diverse crowd – everyone from bikers to young families. We’ll sit out on the patio and drink their strong margaritas and devour baskets of chips, and I’ll spend the day watching my two daughters dance in the aisles. Sounds like a perfect weekend to me.

How will you be spending Mother’s Day? What would your Favorite Weekend be like?