Tomorrow marks the arrival of my friend and her family from the east coast to our home in Los Angeles.  Two adults, two children.  That means there will be four adults and four children in my house during the hot summer heat that is hot in the San Fernando Valley.  We may not stay inside with the air conditioner on full blast, eating ice cream and watching “Wall-E” on repeat.  No, we have to do some stuff.  I’ve been planning and stressing out and researching and making lists about how to entertain and pacify all these kids without taking the fun out of our visit.  Here is the list of survival tactics activities I’ve planned and supplies I’ve stocked up.

1.  We’ll enjoy at least one relaxed meal at home.  I’ve gathered fresh fruits and vegetables and some indulgent treats from the farmer’s market and a discount produce store to keep costs down and freshness up.  We’ll grill some meat and sit in our backyard with some cocktails while we watch the children play in the wading pool or run under the sprinklers.  It’s four on four – we’re still in a man-to-man defense, so this should be do-able.

2.  We’ll expect less and/or interrupted sleep.  The kids will sleep on air mattresses.  Even my kids will do this, if it makes them go to sleep easier knowing they are mimicking their guests.  We are lucky enough to have a guest bed in the 2-year-old’s room, so my husband and I will sleep in there with him while the friends all sleep in our room.  As such, I expect much havoc with bedtimes and have low expectations for the morning routine.

3.  Routine?  What routine?  Our guests are here to spend time with us, and secondly to get out and see some of the kid-friendly Los Angeles sights.  We have a few major activities planned for the days they’ll be with us:  a beach day, Disney California Adventure, Legoland, another beach day.  Other ideas we’ll throw in if there is time and if we’re in the mood.

4.  I’ve stocked up on snacks of all kinds:  pre-packaged, fresh, manufactured, healthy, indulgent, convenient, and even ones that require assembly.  You name it, I’ve got it.  We’ll be ready for any request or meltdown the kids throw at us.  What’s more, we won’t have to stop at stores or restaurants or snack stands and waste money.  One of the children who will be visiting has food allergies, and I’ve been diligent about removing allergens from my pantry and reading labels on the things I buy.

5.  I cleaned out and re-stocked the art supply cabinet.  Paper, crayons, markers, pencils.  Clay, Play-Do, stickers, paints.  Those kids will not have a bored moment among them.

6.  I stocked the bar.

7.  The adults will take turns ditching the rest of the group, two-by-two.  Sometimes you need a vacation from your vacation, after all.

8.  I will not stress out about the condition of my home.  When friends and family stay, you might be tempted to do a whole-house makeover because you want your guests to feel comfortable and safe, not grossed-out and itchy.  But everything is clean, if shabby, and frankly, I don’t have time to touch up the scuff marks or patch holes in the walls before they get here.  I did have my husband shampoo the carpets because it had never been done in the few years of the carpets’ lives, resulting in carpets that look like they’ve had dead bodies dragged over them repeatedly.  Not inviting to guests, and easy to fix with a steam cleaner rental and some elbow grease.  I feel much better.  But – as long as everyone puts their dishes in the sink and makes their beds, I’m not going to chase them with a wet rag and clean up every last crumb behind them.  I don’t like it when hosts do that to me – it makes me feel like I come off as Pig Pen.  Plus, and this is true, most guests like to help clean.  It makes them feel responsible.  I’ll allow it.

9.  I will also not stress about money.  We are hosting this family in our home and part of making them feel comfortable is purchasing food and beverages.  That doubled my grocery bill for the week, and I’m sure that we’ll be dashing off to pick up supplemental items as well.  But this is our vacation as well as theirs, so I’ll approach our spending with that in mind – indulging where it seems appropriate and going for the deal when it’s possible.

10.  When all else fails, I have no problem popping “Wall-E” into the DVD player and doping the kids up with some Pixar.  The adults can then reconvene relaxing on the patio, and if we close the door we won’t even be able to hear the children.  It will be just like a real vacation.

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