Florida proudly calls itself The Sunshine State.  It offers beaches, oceans, gulf waters, islands and amusement parks galore.  What’s not to love about a Florida vacation?

Well, since you asked…

10 Things That Can Go Wrong On A Florida Vacation

1. Shark Bites

New Smyrna Beach in Volusia county, Florida is the shark bite capital of the world.  Granted, the locals will tell you that it’s highly unlikely you’ll die from a shark bite.  “A shark will just take a little taste to see if you’re something good and then let go”, I’ve been assured.  Doesn’t that make you feel much better?

2. Hurricanes

The Atlantic Hurricane Season runs from June 1st to November 30th.  That’s roughly half the year, for those keeping track at home.  Thinking of taking advantage of your children’s summer vacation with a trip to Florida?  Be aware you’re heading out in prime hurricane season!

3. Rain

Chances are that you’ll get lucky and avoid a hurricane during your Florida vacation.  But you’re almost guaranteed to experience at least one torrential downpour if you head to Florida from spring to fall.  The locals don’t mind because it cools off the day and helps combat outrageous water bills.  But a day at the beach?  Plan an afternoon trip to some place with a roof.

4. Humidity

It is not a dry heat.  Florida is great if you love warm weather.  Just be prepared to mix that warmth with constant moisture in the air, a sticky feeling on your skin, and a head full of frizzy hair.

5. Fires

With all that rain and humidity, you’d think the wildfires would stay out west in California.  But when it’s not raining, Florida is constantly battling drought conditions (something about the sun sucking up the moisture before anything has a chance to get too wet).  You never know when a wildfire will hit the Florida brush – but you do know there’s plenty of kindling to be found thanks to the state’s robust plant life!

6. Sunburns

They don’t call it The Sunshine State for nothing.  American tourists seem to forget that it’s warmer in Florida because the state is quite a bit closer to the equator.  The sun is intense and even people who “never burn” and “tan easily” will learn the joys of sunburn and blisters if they don’t frequently apply sunblock.  Yes, even you.  No, really.  Trust me.

7. Bug Bites

The only thing more important than sunblock on a Florida vacation is insect repellent.  And even that probably won’t help you if you happen to step on a colony of fire ants.  A can of bug spray should, however, help ward off the largest mosquitoes you’ll ever see in North America.  I mean, you know, as long as you don’t miss a spot.

8. Alligators

It’s said that you can find at least one alligator in every single body of water in Florida.  No joke.  Florida residents with lakes and ponds behind their homes are warned to keep small pets inside if they want to avoid their furry friends becoming gator snacks.  The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission receives about 16,000 alligator-related complaints per year, and usually removes about 8,500 alligators because they’re considered a “danger to people or property”.

9. Red Tide

Red tide is the unofficial term for “lots and lots of algae in the water” – and it’s not good.  Although no one has ever died from red tied (as far as we know), it can cause skin irritation, burning and possible respiratory problems.  All of those things make for a fantastic vacation, obviously.

10. Traffic

Most cities in Florida have crappy public transportation systems – or none at all.  Add to that the fact that many tourist destinations are outside of metropolitan areas (where public transportation systems would be impossible) or on remote islands accessible by narrow bridges, a large driving population of tourists and snow birds, and you’re pretty much guaranteed to find yourself sitting in traffic at some point during your vacation.

So, who’s ready for a trip to Disney World?