Vacations Blog

Yes, yes…I know.

Picking up hitchhikers is not always the safest of ideas.

But she doesn’t look like that mustached-stranger [usually named 'Kenny'] our Mom’s always warned us about, right?

And what better way to learn about the real Hawaii.

I drove.

She answered.

Me: ‘You’re a hitch-hiker?’

Her: ‘Ha ha .This is a weird question. Yes, I hitchhike around the island here. It is my favorite way of public transport. It’s quite easy when you have breasts and a smile.’

Me: ‘Is this [hitchhiking] a normal thing on the island?’

Her: ‘Yes.’

Me: ‘You a native?’

Her: ‘No, my native land is New Jersey‘.

Me: ‘How does this compare to back home?’

Her: ‘It’s just a different vibration here. Things are manifested completely different. You pay attention to the serendipity. You are aware of the moon when its full and thank the sun when it sets.’

Me: ‘Where you headed?’

Her: ‘Well I was headed back home in Haiku. I wandered up to Hana that morning to find some inspiration and have some “Kailin” time. One of my favorite places I’ve found on the island is Wainapanapa State Park so I was headed there to hang out with myself for a while, meditate, do some yoga and smoke cigarettes.’

Me: ‘What brought you here?’

Her: ‘One of my best friends moved to the island about a year ago and every time I would speak to him I could hear such happiness in his voice and his day to day stories that it inspired me to get a one way ticket and stay awhile.’

Me: ‘Oh, nice! So tell me what people do for fun here.’

Her: ‘Oh goodness, I hate when I am asked this question, ha ha. Ummm, what do people do for fun? Well if you’re in the touristy areas (Lahaina or Kihei side), you go to the bars and get all sexed up and sloppy and drunk and perhaps find somebody to go home with at the end of the night just like anywhere. Although the difference here might be that there are a lot of wanderers and couch surfers so either you may end up awkwardly waking up in the morning next to a tourist family on the beach from Wisconsin, or making out in a moon bounce – which I would actually recommend if you get the opportunity. Now the other parts of the island- the “country” parts (Haiku(ish)) is a little different because the farther out you go the more “out of the box” people are. There are a lot more house parties and gatherings. Although not to be confused with a house party with hipster kids from Brooklyn.There is no PBR being served. These house parties are in huge houses with the most colorful people from all over who have seen and heard and had experiences that will blow your mind. There will be live music, but no shitty Sublime cover bands. There are full-on musicians who laugh and cry and dance when they play, and show you their soul when they sing. There are old hippie woman who make love to the music and groove through yoga moves right in the middle of the dance floor. There are colors everywhere and wine and tea being poured in the kitchen. There are massages being given and herb being smoked in the backyard. Yea…its pretty magical.’

Me: ‘Okay…but let’s say I’m completely broke. What can I do then?’

Her: ‘Well I am getting pretty good at this since I am completely broke, but stay fed everyday and have a constant smile on my face. One thing is to get really connected to the “coconut wireless” as they call it here. Get into the art scene, find out the gallery openings (many in Paia) which will have complimentary food and wine. The great thing about this is no one will ever turn you away because you could be someone super important in the art world (which I pretend to be) and they would never know the difference. Also, every full moon there are gatherings and parties (again food and wine is almost always served) where you can partake in ceremonial activities and get free psychedelic chocolates. ‘

…and with that final hedonistic-culinary shot, she got out of the car, waved ‘mahalo’ and walked away.