Beth Whitman

By Beth Whitman
Excerpted from Wanderlust and Lipstick: The Essential Guide for Women Traveling Solo

One of the most interesting and exciting parts of travel is encountering new people from around the world. Whether you meet other travelers also visiting your destination or you befriend locals once you arrive, these new friends are sure to make your travels memorable. While it doesn’t take a lot of energy to meet others, sometimes it does take a conscious effort.

Everyone you come into contact with on the road is a potential new friend. As you travel solo, hotel staff will see that you are on your own and be friendlier, the barista or wait staff from the coffee shop will welcome the chance to chat with a newcomer, and a compliment to the chef may get you invited into the kitchen. If you’re staying in one spot for a few days and you’re seen making nice with the locals, this could very well save you from being hassled by any neighborhood thugs.

Betty Ann, who traveled to 70 countries in her nine years as a tour guide, learned quickly how to connect with people. “Talk to your cab driver or the guest-services person at the hotel to learn about their favorite restaurant, or ask your guide where he or she would go. If you ask, “Where’s your favorite spot?’ many people will open up because you want to get to know about their life rather than just going where the guidebooks suggest.”

If you’re staying in one location for more than a few days, you can often make local friends if you frequent the same place for coffee or meals. You’ll have a better chance of being remembered if you are warm, friendly, and ask questions. While teaching English in Saigon for two months, I stopped by a small café each day for a mang cau shake. Not only did I love the sweetness of this fresh fruit drink, but I made fast friends with the two gals who ran the shop (and I put on a few pounds, as well).

Beth Whitman is offering a tour to Bhutan with opportunities to meet the locals

If you’re traveling to a non-English-speaking country, it’s easier than you think to meet locals. With the exception of the most remote areas, someone will speak English. And if you can’t find someone who can understand you, take the opportunity to crack open your phrasebook, and practice the local language. Start with your hotel clerk, waitress or taxi driver, all of whom may provide you with insight into their culture if you just start asking questions.

Volunteering can be a splendid way to meet other people and occupy your time if you’ll be spending more than a few days in one location. Offer to help out in a hospital, orphanage, or school once you arrive. If you have a special skill, such as in medicine, teaching or cooking, present your services to an appropriate facility. To save money and meet lots of people, you may even be able to “volunteer” at your hotel or guest house, or at the neighborhood café in exchange for room and board or free meals.

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Our “Week at the Ritz” (or $5K) Referral Program

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A summer’s day in Pt. Lobos, CA.  Notice the jackets and long pants, we stopped for hot chocolate after the fog floated in late that afternoon.

A mother and her young son board a plane to visit relatives. The son becomes fidgety and restless, especially when the flight attendant repeatedly tightens his seatbelt. Soon the unfamiliarity of being on a plane overwhelms the child; he throws himself on the floor, crying uncontrollably. After several failed attempts to calm her son and to return him to his seat, the pilot turns around the plane on the tarmac and returns to the terminal. Embarrassed and humiliated, mother and son deplane. Their plans for a vacation with relatives squashed. The child is neither a security risk nor a spoiled brat. The child has autism – a neurological disorder. Described as “living in a world of their own”, some autistic children avoid eye or physical contact with others, and may be noticeably upset when touched. Other children are unresponsive or become limp when touched, while others are quite affectionate. Their facial expression is often blank, and they are not able to read the facial expressions of others. Speech and language skills are typically impaired.

Autistic children may required their routine and surroundings to remain constant. A slight disruption or change may result in extreme emotional reactions, such as a temper tantrum. Some autistic children develop strong attachments to an object, like a piece of string or a wooden spoon that must be in hand at all times; others say a word or phrase repeatedly.

Although they may look perfectly normal, children may be mildly to severely affected by autism. If you meet one child with autism, then you have met one child with autism. No two autistic children are the same.

These children often are very anxious and find travel — the noise, the crowds, the lines, and the disruption of their routine — particularly difficult. The judgment of others can make a very stressful situation far worse. Kim Mance, co-editor of the online women’s travel magazine Galavanting and mother of an eight year-old autistic son, offer some ways strangers have helped her:

• Asking directly if my son is autistic. It lets the parents know the fellow traveler (or diner) is sympathetic rather than merely staring, which can then allow them to relax a little, which in turn seems to reduce the stress on the autistic child.
• Talking directly to my son. At one event, a woman looked at him for a while, and then I told her about his autism. She mentioned her autistic grandson and then turned to my son and said, “I’m so glad to be sitting next to you. Tell me if I can help you.” I appreciated it, as did my son did —  since he didn’t have any outbursts, which are sometimes brought on by his frustration of being misunderstood.
• Wait for an answer. Children with autism often take longer to respond to a question. A stranger asking a simple question like, “How old are you”, then waiting a good 20 seconds and/or repeating the question a couple of times will not only harvest a response, but put him at ease in his surroundings. Once he has talked to someone, the individual is no longer a stranger. The fewer the strangers, the less upsetting the new environment.

Fellow travelers can also assist by:

• offering the family to go ahead while waiting in line or for dinner reservations;
• offering to keep an eye on or entertain any siblings so that the parent can focus on the child with autism; or
• offering any interesting but not valuable gadgets or giveaways such as a lighted pen, calculator or flashing key chain to distract a child with autism.  (Ask the parent first.) Special needs consultant and speaker Catherine Whitcher, M.Ed. (www.precisioneducation.com), carries branded silly putty to share with families.

Ms. Whitcher also suggests complimenting the family if you notice a family has a child with autism and all is calm. She says, “You may recognize the signs of silverware being lined up at the table, a toy being played with excessively or staring at the ceiling light and know a child has an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).  If the moment warrants a compliment, give one.  So often families coping with ASD are accustomed to people staring for the wrong reasons, let them know you are admiring what a great family they have.”

Traveling can be stressful at the best of times. Being patient and understanding can relieve some of that stress for everyone. A friendly and compassionate smile can go a long way in easing the stress of a beleaguered parent facing a sea of glaring and judgmental eyes.

Peter Bell, the executive vice president at the advocacy organization Autism Speaks and the parent of an autistic teen, says, “some families don’t go anywhere, not even out to dinner, for fear of a situation like what happened to the [deplaned passengers] Farrells — while others, my own family included, opt not to let autism rule our lives.” The Bell family of five has successfully navigated national parks, cross-country car trips, theme parks, ski resorts (where many offer terrific adaptive programs) and Hawaii.  Bell encourages parents to try, even though it may not be relaxing and takes extra time and practice, and he urges fellow travelers to be more empathetic.

More and more holiday destinations are accommodating children with autism and other disabilities. Walt Disney World provides front-of-the-line passes for autistic children who find it very difficult to wait in line ups. Other theme parks, such as SeaWorld  and Busch Gardens  have similar programs. Cruise lines and resorts also attempt to be more inclusive in their organized activities. The Adaptive Sports Center  and similar sport centers offer camps and programming that children and parents can try together as a family.

Planning, preparation and practice are key when traveling with a child with autism. In the end, knowing and understanding your child’s specific needs is critical. For some children, traveling by unfamiliar means to unfamiliar lands may be too overwhelming and upsetting. Start small by exploring your neighborhood and local familiar areas. Allow your child’s reactions to guide you how far you travel comfortably.
Tips to consider:

–Research your holiday options and select an environment your child can handle.
–When traveling by air, inform the airline of your child’s special needs so that staff can assist in making the experience as comfortable and stress-free as possible. (Delta Airlines, in conjunction with Atlanta’s Marcus Institute for Development and Learning, is currently preparing recommendations for families traveling with someone with developmental disabilities. The guidelines will soon be available on Delta’s website (www.delta.com). Perhaps other airlines will then follow Delta’s lead.)
–Also inform the hotel, resort or cruise line of your child’s specific needs and ask what special accommodations are available. Request a fridge or kitchenette if eating some meals in the room may provide a calming break. Take your child’s own sheets if that may make him more comfortable.
–Traveling during low seasons on a cruise or at a resort like Club Med means fewer guests and staff will be more available to assist you.
–Travel by car if you think flying will be too difficult.
–Be forthright explaining the situation to those you meet. (The Autism Society of America has wallet-sized cards explaining autism that can be handed to people, including airport security and airline staff.)
–Prepare your child by developing stories complete with pictures that explain exactly what you will be doing and where you are going.
–Pack puzzle books, hand-held electronic toys and audio books plus a supply of familiar juice boxes and snacks in a knapsack for your child.

Whatever happens, stay calm.
Have a happy and well-deserved vacation!

Additional Resources:

• What is Autism?
• Autism Society of America
• This is Autism. In Case of Emergency, Your Seat Cushion… (a must read for the fellow traveler before your next trip!)
• US Department of Transportation: Air Accessibility 
• Autism & Airport Travel Safety Tips
• Air Travel with an Autistic Child (a mother shares how she prepared her son for air flights) -
• How To Plan a Vacation with Your Autistic Loved One
• How to Take an Autistic Child to Disneyland

We will use the new funding to achieve three main objectives. First, we will expand search beyond UpTake Hotels into new categories including:  UpTake Lodging, UpTake Things to Do, UpTake Restaurants and UpTake Beaches.  Second, we will invest in our search technology to improve travel recommendations based on its analysis and filtering of collective intelligence. Lastly, we will pursue opportunities to grow the company through acquisitions.

We also announced a new Content Partner Program to enable publishers to provide their most up-to-date content to the UpTake visitor. UpTake partners include: BedandBreakfast.com, Restauranti.ca, OpenTable, La Quinta Inn & Suites, Away.com, and FriendCommunications, the leader in online reservations for RV parks and campgrounds.“

Here are the highlights of the media coverage resulting from the announcement:

VentureBeat

UpTake, the travel search engine that gets its traffic from Google, takes in $10M

“Unlike many content-focused travel sites, which seem to proliferate daily (see TripWolf, IgoUgo, TripSay), UpTake has no illusions about becoming the first place people turn for travel info. It has instead built a strategy almost entirely based around aggregating high-quality content from other sources and pulling in traffic from travel searches executed on major search engines.”

TechCrunch

UpTake Raises $10 Million in Series B Funding

“The funding round was led by Trinity Ventures, which ostensibly believes UpTake has a bright future ahead of it.”"Considering it’s competing in a well-trodden space where sites like TripConnect and TripHub have failed, it’ll be interesting to see if the travel search engine can transition from an SEO-driven strategy to a more natural uptake.”

ZDNet

UpTake Announces $10,000,000 investment with a new Series B

“As I reported back in May when the company entered public beta, they’re applying some interesting semantic approaches in an attempt to enhance the quality of results.”

TheDeal.com

UpTake travels in style with $10M

“Calling itself a travel search and discovery Web site, UpTake wants to be the first place travelers look when deciding where to go on vacation, where to stay and what to do. It searches more than 1,000 other travel sites and scours the Web for other travelers’ opinions to provide matches to help people make better travel decisions.” 

Silicon Valley/San Jose Business Journal

Travel Search Site UpTake gets $10M

“UpTake said it will use the new funding expand search functions, invest in technology to improve travel recommendations based on analysis and filtering of collective intelligence, and pursue opportunities to grow the company through acquisitions.”

We are looking forward to using these funds to deliver better travel information to our visitors and as a result give them a better trip.If you need further information, we like Paul Miller’s analysis of UpTake written for our public beta announcement on The Semantic Web.  If you are looking for more press and blogger information, go here.

With this year’s American Airlines groundings, flight consolidations and difficult weather, a lot of people are once again talking about passengers’ rights.  Being the ex-general counsel at Expedia and now running Avvo and its free legal advice Q&A forum, I am often asked about these rights. Most people are certain that they have them, but are less certain about what they are.

Allow me to disappoint up front by telling everyone that passengers’ rights are a myth.  Just as the Greeks ultimately learned that there was really no Zeus to cast lightning bolts at their greatest enemies, it is time for travelers to realize that there is really no one to help them if an airline treats them poorly.  What about the Federal Aviation Administration?  What about the Department of Transportation?  While these illustrious federal entities set some guidelines for the airlines, since airline deregulation in the late ‘70’s and early ‘80’s, virtually all of your rights are dictated by the airline’s carriage agreement.

What is this mysterious carriage agreement, you ask? When you buy an airline ticket, the airline clearly discloses that you are entering into an agreement (i.e.a binding contract) with the airline. You agree to give them your hard earned cash, and they agree to give you certain services in return. If one of your “rights” is not in that agreement, then it doesn’t exist.  “But hold on,” you say.  “I hear about passengers’ rights all of the time on the news.”  And you are correct. The problem is that you are talking about legislation that has been either PROPOSED at the federal level or OVERTURNED at the state level; so while we hear a lot about passengers’ rights, nothing currently exists.

While bills have been proposed by both the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives, both bills have largely stalled in the face of the formidable airline lobby. Frustrated with Congress’ inaction, a number of states (including Arizona, Florida, New Jersey, New York and Washington) began mulling over their own legislation relating to passengers’ rights.

The first to act was New York.  In response to, among other things, nine JetBlue flights that sat on runways at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport in 2007 for more than six hours during an ice storm, the New York State Legislature enacted the Consumer Bill of Rights Regarding Airline Passengers.  In general, the legislation required that airlines provide passengers on aircraft delayed more than three hours with electricity for fresh air and lighting, food, water and clean lavatories.  t also created an Office of the Airline Consumer Advocate and gave New York authorities the power to seek substantial civil penalties against airlines for violations.

Fearing that multiple states would follow New York, the Air Transport Association (ATA), the heart of the airline lobby, filed a suit in federal court attempting to stop the New York legislation.  In a nutshell, they argued that federal law conflicted with (and therefore preempted) the New York law.  While the lower court upheld the law, earlier this year the U.S. Court of Appeals struck it down, largely relying on the ATA’s preemption argument.

And so the vanguard of passengers’ rights legislation died an untimely death.  Whether Congress or any state will pick up the torch again is anyone’s guess.  With galactically high oil prices and an airline industry hanging on its teeth, I am guessing that it will be hard for any legislator to throw a new punch.

We shall see.

If you have any more questions about your rights when you travel, or any other legal question, get them answered at Avvo.  You can go directly to our free legal advice Q&A forum to ask your personal legal questions-anonymously if desired-and real attorneys will answer them.

Happy traveling.

Mark Britton

Founder and CEO

Avvo, Inc.

Photo courtesy of  Oishi Kuranosuke

National September 11 Memorial and Museum at the World Trade Center, NY, NY

There are many touching memorials to honor those who died on this day besides the new memorial being built in New York at the World Trade Center. The attack on 9/11 did not tear us apart as intended, instead it brought diverse cultures together to honor those who died:

Russia donated a memorial to a small town in New Jersey, a town in Connecticut came together to build a glass tribute, Ducks Unlimited and a park commission collaborated to create a space for reflection, Staten Island created an uplifting sculpture for their hard hit community. An airport in Boston just dedicated it’s beautiful shrine and the U.S. Department of Defense dedicates their memorial on 9/11–those experts in sadness created an eloquent monument for  those we lost.  All  honor those who sacrificed for us. All are built from the ground up. All are beautiful.

National Memorial in Bayonne, New Jersey, courtesy of sister72.

“Standing more than 100 feet tall, “To the Struggle Against World Terrorism” honors victims of 9/11 and the 1993 World Trade Center bombings and serves a symbol of solidarity in the fight against world terrorism. Created by Russian sculptor Zurab Tsereteli, the memorial was a gift from the Russian people.”–Bayonne Redevelopment Authority.

National Memorial in honor of September 11, 2001 in the Meadowlands, New Jersey, photo courtesy of tonythemisfit

“The memorial site is directly across the  Hudson River from where the World Trade Centers once stood. A permanent memorial consisting of a curved deck with two projecting piers that face the Manhattan skyline was constructed along a marsh cove in the park. The piers are patterned after the World  Trade   Center   Towers  and surfaced with 110 boards representing the 110 floors of the towers. Where the piers meet the main deck, a porcelain enamel plaque dedicates the site in memory of those who lost their lives on 9/11.”–New Jersey Meadowlands Commission in partnership with Ducks Unlimited.

The Danbury September 11 Memorial in Danbury, Connecticut courtesy of carbonnyc

“The Danbury Memorial was constructed by taking huge sheets of e glass and cutting out the center parts of 28 inch squares and using a hammer and chisel to chisel out the inner space, forming a 21 inch square by 144 inch interior space – representing the absence of the World Trade Towers to their proportional dimensions. The interior empty space is the same proportional dimensions as the physical presence of both Towers. The inner polished glass panel has engraved, on the backside, the names of all the Connecticut victims. Danbury residents’ names are highlighted at eye-level.”– City of Danbury, Connecticut

Pentagon Memorial, Dedication is on September 11, 2008

The Pentagon Memorial “honors 184 people whose lives were lost at the Pentagon and  American Airline Flight 77, their families and all those who sacrifice that we may live in freedom.”– U.S. Department of Defense

9/11 Memorial Monmouth Park, New Jersey

“Monmouth County’s 9/11 Memorial has three symbolic components: a timeline walkway to recollect the day’s events; a stone base carved with the names, ages and hometowns of the county residents who lost their lives; and an eagle sculpture with a beam from one of the fallen towers. There were 147 people from Monmouth County who perished in the terrorists attacks of September 11th, 2001… For days and weeks afterward, people visited Mount Mitchill to reflect and remember.” –Monmouth County Parks

Staten Island photo also by acnatta

“Staten Island was one of the hardest hit communities on 9/11, losing nearly 270 loved ones in the terrorist attacks on New York City that day. As a result, Staten Island needed its own memorial, a place for the loved ones of the victims to mourn and reflect, and a place for all visitors to remember those who lost their lives on that tragic day.

A Memorial Advisory Committee was formed, which included members of victims’ families and community representatives. The committee selected Masayuki Sono’s postcards from nearly 200 submissions. The solemn, yet uplifting design features two thin structures resembling postcards, perhaps sent to lost loved ones. From afar,they appear to be outstretched wings or a flower about to blossom.In order to honor the individual lives lost, part of Mr. Sono’s design provides that each Staten Island victim be honored with a 9”x11” granite plaque that will bear their name, birth date and place of work on September 11, 2001 as well as their profile in silhouette.–Staten Island Memorial

The Logan Airport 9/11 Memorial

The Logan Airport Memorial shining cube in Boston “honors the passengers and crews of American Airlines Flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175, which departed Logan Airport that morning for Los Angeles. The Memorial also commemorates the dedication to duty of the Logan Airport community in restoring the aviation system to full operation and the contributions its members made toward comforting the families of the passengers and crew who were aboard those flights.”–Massport

 I realize there are many more types of memorials created by thousands of from quilts to tattoos. These spoke to me.

May you go in peace.

This Thursday is the 7th anniversary of the attacks on 9/11.  I still remember where I was and the slow unrolling of sad stories during the next few days.  My sister called and said, “We are under attack. Turn on the TV.”  The first statement I did not believe, the second made me think it was a joke.  Moments later, I was dismayed to see the truth of her words displayed before me on CNN and every other news station.

I went to New York a few weeks later for a business trip and saw the gaping hole and the sad work of the firefighters.  I followed the story  fairly closely for a while—the strength of the New Yorkers, the funeral processions, the ensuing discussion about what to do next.

Memorial march in honor of 9/11, Washington, D.C

The questions of how to rebuild and how to create something better than before were tough to answer.

But as time passed, like many Americans, I just watched the story unfold in the remote corners of my life until last week when I visited New York again and I saw the rebuilding of the World Trade Center and National Tribute to the victims. Surprisingly, during my visit, the attack on the city came up repeatedly in conversation. It still permeates New Yorkers’ lives. Everyone I met remembered the exact moment they heard the news and their reactions of horror, fear and an overwhelming desire to help.  I realized the rebuilding is needed in New York.  It is right and it helps heal and it is what we do as part of  living. Rebuild what has been attacked, rebuild what is falling apart and the healing begins.  Trite phrases that shouted a powerful truth to me as I saw it in action. The new design is a rising of hope and a testament to our country and our people.  We will not be beaten down. We rise up.

 My friend has just taken an apartment directly across the street from Ground Zero.  She will be living next to the construction for the next five years and doesn’t mind.

National September 11 Memorial and Museum at the World Trade Center, NY, NY

To her, the rebuilding of Ground Zero, now called the National September 11 Memorial and Museum at the World Trade Center is a monument  to those who lost their lives and to the future of our country.  It represents the best part of America. The discourse of public opinion, public consideration by public and private officials, a long process to make sure all options are  considered and finally a decision to  build something that will live for centuries. The design was selected from 5,200 submissions from 63 nations. It will be built by people working together from all over the world, visited by people from every country, every religion and every culture.

Osama may send another plane or unleash another evil attack, but he can’t destroy that part of my country that accepts all people and all religions.  The pilgrims did a good thing, they came for freedom of religion and gave the next wave of immigrants the same freedom from the moment their feet hit American soil.  I wish Mr. Bin Laden did the same.

Statue of Liberty photo  by acnatta. 

In the land of organic, local and more vegans per square inch than anywhere else in the world–this store seems to be thriving.  Notice the chain lock.  Don’t want anyone stealing the alligator sirloin meat, do ya now?